Christopher Haley didn’t lose his atheism by doubting it. He lost it by trying to live it better. The self-described evangelical atheist committed to his own principles, that love is just chemistry and truth is relative, and watched his life get bleaker. Then he hit the one thing he couldn’t argue away. Beauty was real, and denying it wouldn’t mean he was wrong about something; it would mean he was wrong, period.

Christopher is back with the BeatiDudes, Paul Kolker, Nick Bezner, and Jeff Schiefelbein, to tell a conversion story so unlikely that an old high school friend spent years convinced it was a long con on Catholics.

Nobody warned him that becoming Catholic would be the loneliest season of his life. His Protestant friends dropped him for being Catholic, his atheist friends dropped him for being Christian, and he went to Mass alone without knowing a single response. Two years later, he looked down the pew and every seat was filled with friends, none of whom had been Catholic two years earlier, some hauled straight from an all-nighter to 7 a.m. Mass. Christopher also explains why a tiny Catholic philosophy department let him read Nietzsche and Marx while a massive Catholic institution wouldn’t let him read the doctors of the Church, and why being a pro-life atheist should have been his first clue.

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