What happens when someone grows up longing for affirmation, struggling with shame, and searching for identity—yet never stops believing God is real?

In this honest and deeply moving conversation, Richard shares his Christian testimony, reflecting on growing up without a father, experiencing bullying, navigating same-sex attraction, pornography addiction, and years of confusion about God’s heart.

Through dance, performance, success, and eventual burnout, Richard explains how knowing God’s Word without knowing God’s heart left him trapped in cycles of guilt and fear—and how true healing began when he encountered Jesus not as a rule-giver, but as a loving Father.

This episode speaks to anyone wrestling with identity, shame, sexuality, faith, or the fear that they are “too far gone” for God.

This is a story of truth, mercy, repentance, and hope.

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Chapters:
00:00 – A Conversation Rooted in Friendship
03:00 – Feeling Distant from God
06:10 – Growing Up Without a Father
09:15 – Early Church Life & Creativity
12:20 – Bullying, Loneliness & Rejection
15:40 – Performing Arts & Identity
18:55 – Church Collapse & Confusion
22:10 – Same-Sex Attraction Emerges
25:35 – Pornography, Shame & Secrecy
29:10 – Losing Trust in the Church
32:30 – College, Culture & Temptation
36:05 – Loving God While Struggling
39:40 – Professional Dance Career
43:20 – Success Without Fulfillment
46:55 – Moving to New York
50:30 – Pandemic, Isolation & Darkness
54:10 – Depression & Spiritual Warfare
57:40 – “Gay Christian” Tension
1:01:15 – Therapy, Recovery & Church
1:05:10 – Dating, Conflict & Confusion
1:09:05 – God’s Mercy at Work
1:12:45 – Learning God’s Heart
1:16:40 – Surrender, Repentance & Hope
1:20:35 – Healing Is a Process
1:24:15 – Identity Rooted in Christ
1:28:05 – Freedom, Obedience & Trust
1:32:10 – Encouragement for Those Struggling
1:36:20 – Final Reflections & Hope in Christ